Monday, 29 April 2013

The Fading Ghost

I got on the tube today.... first time in a while and noticed how weird it is to sit in a metal can in the middle of a city, and be isolated from it, no phone signal, no wi-fi, you and you mind, and the few people confined with you. While I was reflecting on this thought I heard the singing of a busker coming down from one of the tunnels usually filled with passengers, mingled in with the tannoy announcements, it gave me a sense of calm..... normality I haven't felt since I began this life..... standing alone in the hall connecting the Piccadilly and northern line I think. This was interrupted by a familiar voice.

F: It's nice isn't it?
* I turn to see Fade sitting with the Kid, his suit filthy and his mask lying next to him*
F: It's where us bit characters stay when the main story doesn't need us..... a transitional place.
P: And what is this story, Fade, or should I call you Manic now?
F: *He chuckles a little* When I know you'll know. The story however, it's the story of life..... somewhere they are kept in a big library, the entirety of human life, condensed to a story.
P: I'm guessing this library is possessed by a fear?
F: It sure is, the most benevolent.
P: A benevolent fear, you are joking?
F: I said most benevolent, he is still very deadly.
P: Okay, so who is it?
F: The Blind Man, Grandfather, the owner of the life of hundreds.
P: I still don't get how he can be even slightly benevolent, I mean he's a Fear.
F: He has the life story of every man, woman and child in his library, all those lives and he has experienced every one of them..... he takes a persons memories.... you cannot open yourself to all that life.... death.... pain................... love, and not fell something.... even God would weep. Then however there are the parodies... the alternate endings, all that could be.... we humans are good at seeing that, and the weight of infinity crushes us, yet we live on, in our story, until the last pen stroke, the last drop of ink has dried.
P: Well.... that's very deep of you Fade but why are you telling me about it?
F: Because Pete, you have become a bit character in your own story, a piece in a much longer story I started a long time ago. Even so, this is real life even bit characters have souls they've touched, someone will always cry.... even for a bit character *He nods to the kid next to him*
P: You really aren't making any sense.... have you finally gone loopy, off your nut!?
F: *He leaps up and grabs my arm* I will show you what I mean.

We teleport to a sunny field filled with tombstones, and a group of people dressed in black.

F: This is the funeral for the person you killed yesterday....his body was found and he was a bit character to your story, but he had his own that you choose to give a full stop to.
P: I wasn't my choice, it's either kill or be killed.
F: * He lights a cigarette and exhales a plume of blue smoke* You always have a choice.
P: No I don't, I....
F: You have the choice to be human, whether you let yourself become dead inside, until you feel nothing... until you are the book you leave behind, when you become part of the Blind Man.
P: What right do you have to lecture me, you have killed many more people than I have.
F: Yes I have, that has given me experience, it has stripped me of every emotion except sadness, I rarely feel pain, if I did then I'd at least know I was alive. What did you feel when you killed that man yesterday?
P: I felt sick and appauled at myself, I...
F: Are a liar, you felt relief, that it was his life not yours that was ended, his full stop. That this time tomorrow his body would be in the ground, and yours wouldn't, even a bit character has  person that cries for them.
P: Then what are you Fade, a bit character, or a full person?
F: I'll show you.
* We teleported again, when we came out the sky was cloudy, we were out side a small, but normal house*
F: Look in the window.
P: Why? *I was feeling uneasy I wondered if Fade was playing a trick on me I still do.*
F: Because I asked you to, though like I sad.... you have a choice.

I walk up to the window and see a woman, not much older than Fade crying, over a battered notebook, with white numbers carved into the leather, filled with some white stuff.  It looked like she had heard a noise, so wiped her eyes and hid the book, a kid came down, I couldn't place his age.. but it looked familiar. It crawled into what I guess was it's mothers lap, I don't think I've seen such abject dispair, the child started to Sob into it's mother's lap, and she held back hers. I turned back to Fade ot ask him who's family it was.

F: The people we kill get off easy, they get a reprieve from the pain and torment we put them through, the families however suffer most, the person most important to them died about 3 months ago.
P: Yes but who's family is it, one of your victims?
F: Yes....

* Turned and walked away, and faded into the rain that had stated*

I looked back through the window and saw two men come into the room with another woman.... I recognised them... they were the people who came after Fade that day, Tom and Grey.

Then it clicked into my head..... that was Fade's family, the people that were hurt most from his killing.

Friday, 26 April 2013

As the Muse Fades the darkness returns

It seems Malice is deciding to stay, apparently he made a promise to Fade before he did what he did, I guess Malice isn't that bad, if you don't think too much about the sadistic mutilation he may put you through. The decision has also been made that we can't let out Siran, apparently she is dangerous even by Malice's reckoning, we can't let her free if we let her free we give her a way to poison an entire city, if we let her go everyone dies. Malice said that it's all Fade's fault aswell, he coaxed just enough of her original self out, enough..... imagination, to make her the deadliest camper in the country. Because where EAT can mimic human speech, and thought.... the imagination is impossible to recreate, you need to be born with it, you need to have a soul, so that's why we can't let her free.

I sometimes drop in to her room when she's sleeping, she doesn't really seem to breath, yes her chest goes up and down but there's no sound or apparent life. She doesn't seem sad, or particularly unhappy with things, to be honest it's almost like she wants to be here, locked in with Malice and I, probably her last two jailers. She hasn't tried anything to escape,  she hasn't even tried to 'turn' me like she did the first time, so it is unsettling, she's planning something I know it.

After the Siran matter was discussed I asked Malice a question;

P: Were you an actual doctor once?
M: Yes, long time ago.
P: What did you specify in?
M: Well, the workings of the humans most inner demons, if I want to sound pretentious, though it was just basic shrink work. Why you ask little ticker?
P: Well..... ever since I've been involved with these... things, I've been having nightmares on and off, they stopped when I joined Fade but, they seemed to have started again. I don't know whether they're real or not, I just want to know if I'm going insane.
M: Yes.
P: What?
M: You are going insane, it's the only way to survive in this world, the dreams themselves are probably just a side effect. What is actually in these dreams?
P: Well when it started it mainly revolved around someone ticking coming from a closet door in my bedroom, which progressed to seeing a man made of gears and clockwork, it even had little minions that scared the shit out of me. My girlfriend, at the time, even saw Fade, and my, um..... best friend saw a dead person before he was taken.
M: What happened to your friend after being taken?
P: HE was killed.
M: By who?
P: Well, you know how this world is better than I do.
M: I do, so sorry.
P: For what?
M: That you had to kill your friend. But I don't think you're done with the dream, go on.
P: This drove me mad, the ticking was never ending, until I finally crow barred open the door and found nothing but an old grandfather clock, now it wasn't working all it had was a note on it. That's when Fade picked me up and forced me to work for him.
M: No he didn't.
P: I think you'll find he did.
M: No he didn't the Muse may be many thing but he doesn't force anyone to do anything, it's not the type of person he is, he merely..... brought the psycho out of you.
P: He did force me, he would have let my brother fall to his death if I didn't say yes.
M: Did you actually see him throw your brother of the roof or high place?
P: .... NO.
M: Then all Fade did was take him back here, Fade doesn't hurt true innocents.
P: He made me Kill my friend.....
M: Did he threaten to kill you, maim you, or other cause harm to your general being or that of your family?
P: No.
M: You seem to have blamed Fade for everything, when all he did was give you a choice, you made the choices, since Fade's known you he has always respected your decisions as long as they kept you alive. But yes the dream go on.
P: Bu...
M: The Dreams.
P: Later, when I had been kicked out since Siran had been brought in and dangerous, I had a dream Fade and this same Ticking man was having a discussion about me, and after that he came and offered me a choice.
M: What was it?
P: I don't know it ended as Fade kicked me awake, I've started having them again though now.... and he always gets a little closer to telling me my choices.
M: Well, if you were to ask me it just sounds like your mind trying to cope with the massive change going on in your life, it's just a case of Bad cheese as I say.
*Malice gets up to leave*
P: But what about the ticking thing in it, the one Fade seems to believe is real?
M: *He turns to look at me wearily* There is no Fear like that, Fade believed a lot of things, some of them not true, also you have to remember the can Muse lie.

Monday, 22 April 2013

Fade has a soul

He seems to have had a soul after all, we were sent on a mission to get a target for that faceless one, Slendy. All Fade knew about the target is that we had to go to a park and wait for the 'Slender shits' to point out the target. We waited for nearly an hour until a filthy looking child came digging around in a bin, and eating what he found on a swing, that is when the tall one appeared, I felt my head pound 'That's the one', Fade without saying a word stood up and walked over to the child, they didn't see him coming up to them since their hood was up. I followed Fade incase he told me to do it, and I think at the time I was very ready to do so if it meant the my survival and the survival of my family. Fade however put his hand up to signal I should stay where I was, he went up to the child and reached into his pocket pulling out some pork scratchings, probably from his trip to the pub the night before. The child was weary at first, it's reaction suddenly changed and it took down it's hood, at which point I saw it was a little boy, with black hair looking dirty, and tired. When I started to walk towards Fade the tall thing put a tentacle infront of me, it burnt like hell so I didn't walk any further and took the hint, this was Fade's thing. I looked over and saw Fade crouched down in his suit to be face to face with the child, he actually looked quite fatherly, did Fade have a family before this, I can't remember. Fade hugged the child and picked him up carrying his cradling it's head and walked to where I was, he stopped a few feet away from the Slender Man, and looked at the boy, who seemed to have drifted off, the Slender Man's voice split my skull saying 'give me the child, Muse you have done well'. Fade looked at the child still who squirmed in his arms and whimpered slightly, 'No' was all he said, 'What!' The Slender Man screamed forcing me to my knees, Fade just stood and looked at him, he started to fade away as he was teleporting away, ' you can have the child when I'm dead, and I'm not quite there yet'. The Slender Man swiped out with a  tentacle trying to catch Fade but it went through empty space where Fade was moments before, unfortunately Slender Man took his anger out on me, so Malice has been patching me up for the past few days, but it seems his little alliance is over.

I doubt that's he last we'll see him, but I do have one thing to say about him.

What a hypocrite.

Sunday, 14 April 2013

Fade's Changed

Ever since the secret of his eye was revealed Fade doesn't come out of his room except for missions and tell me to collect certain people, according to him we've gained the trust of birds of a feather, that of the sleeping dogs, rapturous disease, tranquility, the black blood, the lost and cold children, the ticking lord, the creep. Apparently they're the majority we need to fulfill the plan we have set out to achieve, the plan the conductor and he devised, the plan, Fade says, which is the key to his freedom, and the end of my servitude. Siran hasn't showed 'her' face since the last time, but Fade tells me she is still on our side, he means too much to them to let him out of their sight, Malice has also started bringing victims back with him, I hear screams half the night, sobs the other time I swear between the three of them I will go crazy far before the Fears affect me, wait haven't I said that already in an earlier post...... it's official I've lost it...... I've obviously had a hit on my head and am now just dreaming all this, none of this is real, I am in a hospital being treated by normal, non psychotic doctors, surrounded by my loving family, not about to be killed anytime I go outside.

I'm joking I know this is real, also Fades eye thing I'm intrigued by it if anyone on here any information please can you relay it to me, I made a drawing, but I'm not an artist nor is the camera very good that I stole, must have dropped it, see i never would have stolen before this... (Focus, no sidetacks).

Thursday, 11 April 2013

The Muse's friends

So Fade took me out on a 'relaxing' day as a reward for all my hard work, which I personally thought I deserved especially after all of the injuries, both mental and physical, I have gained in 'the line of duty'. Unfortunately it didn't work out like that, we had some visitors from Fade's life and they didn't exactly stay quite about him.

It was on of the only sunny days we've had this year and so I went out to enjoy the nice weather, Fade even dug up a couple of shorts and shirts so we didn't have to go out in the suits, it was odd seeing Fade so casual, even had sunglasses on. Malice was going to come with us but he says he's allergic to fun so didn't come along, which was fine by me, the guy creeps the fuck out of me. So only me and Fade went to a park close to the, I don't what to call it actually base? Lets go with base. Well after getting a few drink and lighting one of his choking cigarettes we heard someone shout Manic? Fade just ignored it, so did I as I thought it was the best idea to just copy what Fade did, then the voice came closer and said Manic but more cautiously than before.

Voice from behind: Manic, that's you isn't it?

I turned around to see a dark haired man and one that looked like he had recently come back from the brink of death.

Fade: Tom, Grey, leave now.
Dark haired man: We won't we are either going to take you back or kill you so you can stop causing pain to Kat.
Fade: Why do you think I'm doing this Tom.
Tom (I guess): because you're a selfish person who cherishes his own life above those of the people he loves.
Fade: *He finally turns to face them and grabs the Tom bloke by his shirt fronts* I am not selfish, I am doing this for all of you, so leave, now.
Grey ( The other guy): *He says in a weak voice* Manic please stop, we're too tired to fight you, and we really don't want to.
Fade: And that's why you have to leave, you know what I can do and if it means protecting her I will do it.
Tom: And what did you do Manic, you ran away, you joined the Fears and you made Kat suffer, she thought you were dead! Don't you care?
Fade: *Low but angry* Ofcourse I care I did what I did to save her, to save all of you.
Tom: And what did you do, what massive escapade has saved us from the Fears?
Fade: I sacrificed my life for yours, happy, I made it so I could never be happy again, I forfeited the life I had gained from the conductor and gave it to you, on the solitary condition you forget, forget me, forget them, live normal lives. But as always you people are too stubborn for your own good.
Tom: and what about Patrick? What about the little boy who doesn't have his father, why is he left in the middle of your mess, he needs you.
Fade: He doesn't need me, non of you need me, I made sure of that when I left, Grey is no longer a lych, you have lost your apathy, you have Aoife, and Kat..... well she has all of you and Patrick, the only truly good thing I have made, so leave.
Tom: You bastard!Kat is not fine she isn't better without you.
Fade: Yes.... yes she is.

* Apparently out of nowhere Tom punched Fade and sent his sunglasses flying off, Grey looked extremely uncomfortable*

Fade: There is no way I can go home, see.

*Fade pulls Tom towards him so there noses are touching*
Tom: M.... Manic, what's up with your eyes?
Fade: They are my contract, and I'm not Manic anymore, not for a long time, I am Fade.... I am a proxy. So you should leave or die trying to bring me back.
Tom: This isn't over Manic, we will bring you back one way or another.
Fade: *Waits for them to be out of earshot and sadly said* No... no you won't.

P: Why did your eyes freak that guy out?
F: Because they are no longer my eyes.
P: I don't understand.

Fade walks towards me and I see in his eyes what looks like a clock face with arm pointing at either midday, or midnight.

Sunday, 7 April 2013


All this training is really getting to me, I have had more exercise these past 3 days than I have had in my entire life, but I must have got better since I had to fight for my life the other day. Fade calls them hunted, or runners, people who are victims of the Fears, some of them hunt the, ummmm Fade calls us proxies.... servants. I was out on a routine surveillance mission for Fade, he doesn't seem to do his own work anymore just gets me to do it. Well this was a new runner according to Fade so he wasn't suppose to be a good fighter, but I guess this guy had a grudge with whatever Fear was chasing him and any person associated with them. Well I got a bit lazy and was spotted, the person just ran at me screaming, with what looked like a bat, but it looked crudely made, I dodged it but just letting my body go limp, Fade calls it the possum.

I bravely lied to him feigning ignorance about why he was attacking me.
P: Wait, wait, wait, what are you doing you maniac!
Runner: Die!!
P: Please stop, I haven't done anything to you.
R: That's just what you people would say!
*He runs at me a swings the bat again I raise my arm and felt it rattle, it must have been close to breaking*
P: What people, dude what are you doing.
R: Fight me you shit, you and the fucking fears deserve to die!
P:Fears, what?!You're fucking crazy mate, just let me be, I have a girlfriend, friends... what are you doing?
*I saw the runner's face falter in it's anger*
R: I.... I'm sorry, I .... I'm just being chased by something... please forgive me, just forget about me.
P: Why would I forget I'm gunna call the police, don't be surprised if you end up in prison you little shit!
R: I..... I'm sorry.
* He ran,when he got to the end of the street and got out of sight Fade appeared apparently out of nowhere*
F: Nice lying Pete, but this is no longer a simple intimidation mission.
P: What do you mean?
F: *He started to vanish slowly* Kill boy. *His masked face was the last to fade*

I chased after him, just far enough behind to stop arousing his suspicion, I was going to follow him until he stopped, I saw him turn into an alley, probably to hide from the imaginary police chasing him. I walked casually to the end of the alley so not not make too much noise and make him aware I was there, I took out the knife Fade gave me, I crept up behind him but he must have heard me or something because just at the last moment he turned and brought the bat down on my head. I barely rolled out of the way of his bat, it hit the concrete.

R: So you did lie.
P: Hey I'm a fear servant what do you expect.

He swung at me again but this time I was ready, I got down low to avoid the bat and punched him in the stomach , he reeled back a couple steps but got himself ready before I could follow up he swung the bat as I tried to stab him, he hit me in the wrist , my knife went flying, I held my wrist it was definitely broken. The runner came at me with his fists, I saw the remains of his splintered makeshift bat where he stood a few moments before, I got down ow and tackled him round the waist, I got him on his back, I knelled on his arms to stop his protecting his face, I proceeded to punch him in the face with my one good hand, I got his face quite bloodied before he I got a knee in the back, it sent me sprawling I rolled away, he got up and stumbled over to where my knife had fallen, and came back taking it like I was gonna me some Mayan sacrifice, HE was bringing the knife down when I grabbed the a sharp end of his splintered bat and put it out infront of me, I felt the body fall on it and the pierce and slide of the body. His body slumped and fell to the side and my knife landed right next to my head, I got up and got my head straight when I heard a gasp as the guy wasn't dead yet I just took the heavy end of the bat and bashed his brains in.

After making sure he was dead I heard a cold laugh, I looked about and saw a silhouette of a person lent on a wall, but when I looked again it was gone. I asked Fade later if it was him on the wall, he said no, that he had the utmost confidence I would succeed so he didn't stick around to watch,he did however heal my wrist, can this situation get any weirder.

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

My arm's better, but that's the only good news

Malice has got my room, and with Siran occupying I have to stay with Fade in his, but little did I know Fade doesn't sleep, he sits and writes in a book. Seriously this guy is weirder than any of the things he's got me going after, but I guess doing this your entire life will do that to you, I only wish he'd stop smoking when he does it, at this stage I'm more likely to die of smoke inhalation than Fear involvement. It was one of these nights that he asked me to do something else,

F: Little Droogie, can you do something?
P: *Rubbing sleep from my eyes* Droogie, what's that shit?
F: From a film I saw, I think.
P: What do you want it's early?
F: See why Siran is awake and pacing in her room.
P: I don't hear anything, maybe she's annoyed by all the smoke you exude.
F: Are you saying you won't do it?
P: Well....... k..
F: Good droogie, no in and out now.
(Although he smiled it wasn't filled with the same cockiness and self assurance, he genuinely looked worried about something, but why should I care)

I knocked on Siran's door and waited for a reply, I didn't get any so I open it to check like Fade told me, when my senses adjusted I wasn't in her room. I appeared to be in the center of a giant funnel of water, then I heard Siran's voice in the roar of the water.

S: Oh I got the puppy, I wanted the sailor, but I'm sure I can still have fun with you anyway.
P: What are you doing, why aren't we back at our place?
S: I'm trying to draw the Fading Muse to have a chat but obviously that didn't work, as to where, we are nowhere, or rather in between places. We should be arriving somewhere any moment.
(With a wet splat I landed on what felt like a water bed filled with oil, I got up and saw nothing but a still, shiny ocean, but it wasn't water and it wasn't quite oil. Siran appeared behind me and she looked different than she did before, well I haven't seen her for a while.)
P: Um Siran?
S: Yes, that's what the Fading Muse has called this vessel.
P: Vessel? Why are you like Blue, and soaked through.
S: Blue, oh yes the Fade hasn't told you much, this is my new form, well the start of it, the all consuming mother has made this vessel, I am her now, you may call me..... More.
P: More? When did you turn into Oliver Twist?
S: *She grabs me by the throat and lifts me up* You dare laugh at me, Boy, you are two thousand years to try to tease me, the Fade's protection keeps you safe, for now but I will take you into me, remember my first words to you.
P: Which were?
S: I will find you when I need you... you are mine, now leave this place.
P: And if I don't
( The surface of the 'ocean' was broken by hands coming and dragging me under, which I took as my que to say I'll leave, didn't she use to be attractive)

I woke up with Fade looking over me

F: Back then, where did you pop off to/
P: I don't know there was a lot of what looked like water.
F: Well, maybe it's to be expected, she's almost fully integrated  there may be a tiny bit of her left but it's mostly the Fear she holds inside herself.
P: Fade..
F: Yes droogie
P: Try and teach me to fight again.
F: Think you can handle it?
P: Yes.
F: Let's start right away then.
P: What it's not even 3 oclock
F: You were in a fears world it's 6 here can't you see the sun's almost up.

I already regret this